Bella Suartini

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir

Book by Matthew Perry

DETAILS

Publisher : Flatiron Books (November 1, 2022) Language : English Hardcover : 272 pages ISBN-10 : 1250866448 ISBN-13 : 978-1250866448 Item Weight : 1.06 pounds Dimensions : 6.5 x 0.95 x 9.55 inches Best Sellers Rank: #22 in Books (See Top 100 in Books) #1 in Television Performer Biographies #2 in Actor & Entertainer Biographies #5 in Memoirs (Books) , INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER #1 INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER The BELOVED STAR OF FRIENDS takes us behind the scenes of the hit sitcom and his struggles with addiction in this “CANDID, DARKLY FUNNY...POIGNANT” memoir ( The New York Times ) A MOST ANTICIPATED BOOK by Time , Associated Press, Goodreads, USA Today , and more! “Hi, my name is Matthew, although you may know me by another name. My friends call me Matty. And I should be dead.” So begins the riveting story of acclaimed actor Matthew Perry, taking us along on his journey from childhood ambition to fame to addiction and recovery in the aftermath of a life-threatening health scare. Before the frequent hospital visits and stints in rehab, there was five-year-old Matthew, who traveled from Montreal to Los Angeles, shuffling between his separated parents; fourteen-year-old Matthew, who was a nationally ranked tennis star in Canada; twenty-four-year-old Matthew, who nabbed a coveted role as a lead cast member on the talked-about pilot then called Friends Like Us . . . and so much more. In an extraordinary story that only he could tell―and in the heartfelt, hilarious, and warmly familiar way only he could tell it―Matthew Perry lays bare the fractured family that raised him (and also left him to his own devices), the desire for recognition that drove him to fame, and the void inside him that could not be filled even by his greatest dreams coming true. But he also details the peace he’s found in sobriety and how he feels about the ubiquity of Friends , sharing stories about his castmates and other stars he met along the way. Frank, self-aware, and with his trademark humor, Perry vividly depicts his lifelong battle with addiction and what fueled it despite seemingly having it all. Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is an unforgettable memoir that is both intimate and eye-opening―as well as a hand extended to anyone struggling with sobriety. Unflinchingly honest, moving, and uproariously funny, this is the book fans have been waiting for. Read more

REVIEW

I'll admit, I rarely watched "Friends" when episodes first aired. My wife started binge watching it a couple years ago or so, probably during the pandemic, and so I started watching it with her. I do think that I was a little too hard on the show though as I always thought that it was a bit of a "Seinfeld" "rip-off." In reality there are enough differences in the shows that now, after watching the entire series of each, I've relaxed my criticism. A bit. And I rarely read autobiographies, or what people usually call "memoirs" nowadays. I usually am reading true-crime books, in particular those about serial killers. I did read "C'mon, Get Happy: Fear and Loathing on the Partridge Family Bus" (CGH) from David Cassidy in 2021 and I actually liked Mr. Cassidy LESS after reading his memoir. I kind of wish I wouldn't have read CGH and just remembered him instead from his time on the show. It's just that I found Mr. Cassidy to be a bit of a braggart while reading and while I finished CGH I was struggling to even care towards the end. I'm guessing that Susan Dey felt the same. Ahem. Now, rarely does Matthew Perry "brag" during "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir" (FLB) about himself. He does discuss how much money he made during filming of "Friends," and I don't have a problem with that, mostly because he discusses how David Schwimmer actually was instrumental in negotiating a great deal for the entire cast and not just for Mr. Schwimmer. In reality Mr. Perry is far more self-deprecating in FLB than Mr. Cassidy is in CGH. Mr. Perry doesn't seem to hide much when it comes to his struggles with addiction and if he does underplay it, well, he must be REALLY bad. Mr. Perry discusses how he was taking up to 55 pain killers a day and that is extreme. For those who don't know, pain killers tend to dry you out and slow down digestion so I have no idea how someone could take that many for any length of time and survive. Well, Mr. Perry almost didn't survive. Mr. Perry was rushed by a friend from one of his many stints in rehab to the hospital and the people running the rehab facility tried to stop him. If they had been successful Mr. Perry surely would've died. Heck, he still should've died in the hospital even though he had probably the best care that money could buy. From memory he said that only "two percent of people survive on the machine required to keep him alive," and I think he also called it a "Hail Mary." Overall I really liked FLB and I actually read it in one day. As a matter of fact I couldn't sleep last night and kept picking up my Kindle device and would continue reading. Usually readers might say, "I couldn't put it down!" but I might say, "I couldn't leave it down." Over and over I picked up my device, opened the Kindle app, and continued from my last bookmark. Luckily for me Kindle apps save the bookmark for me and that's only one of the reasons I tend to almost only read digital. I will buy a paperback or a hardcover version but only if I MUST read a book and there is no digital version. But still FLB is not a "perfect book," far from it. Towards the end I think that Mr. Perry starts to repeat himself and I got the feeling that he was on a tight deadline and just hammered out the last few chapters. I don't know if he first created an outline -- I think that all authors should do so at an early phase in writing -- but I think a good outline would've really helped create a more polished effort. It's also the case that Mr. Perry has a tendency to use too many parentheticals and that becomes a bit of a distraction for the reader. Not that it bothers me but it might bother some readers: Mr. Perry does discuss religion, or at least God, quite a bit towards the end. If religion is a turnoff, I think that FLB may not be for you. Mr. Perry does seem to think that God helped keep him alive, maybe even helped him break some addictions, and that is fine by me. I can't prove it either way, and it is Mr. Perry's memoir, so he has a right to think and write whatever he chooses. Personally, I appreciate his honesty. Mr. Perry does admit going into open houses and swiping pain meds from home sellers and that reminded me a lot of Ryan Leaf. I think that Mr. Leaf used to do the same thing and it got that ex-NFL player quite a few years in prison for it. From a legal standpoint if I were Mr. Perry, and I were writing a memoir, I think I might not have disclosed this. I am not a lawyer and I don't know what legal troubles it could cause him now. There has been quite a bit of noise about how Mr. Perry tends to "kiss and tell" and I think that's overblown a bit. He does discuss how he and Valerie Bertinelli made out within just a few feet of Eddie Van Halen, after Mr. Van Halen had passed out from drinking too much wine. Hey, I guess I've been there myself so I won't judge. Um, from Mr. Van Halen's perspective and not necessarily from Mr. Perry's. But Mr. Perry doesn't really dwell on it too much. I can understand how Ms. Bertinelli feels about the disclosure although of course Mr. Van Halen is no longer with us. If Mr. Van Halen were still alive I believe that Mr. Perry probably wouldn't even bring it up. Just a guess. Well, if you're a fan of "Friends" and Matthew Perry, and you like to read memoirs, I'll give a fairly strong recommendation for "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing." If you don't fit that criteria perhaps you might want to read something else. But if you're a fan of David Cassidy from "The Partridge Family" I'll recommend you pass on his memoir. Sometimes it's better to only remember the good things about your heroes, after all.

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